The Christian Woman
When you think of the word “pornography,” does it conjure up the image of a scruffy guy with Bokep hair in the basement watching porn in his underpants?
Truth is, though I get lots of requests for prayer and counsel from men who are slaves to porn, I recently had an encounter with a pretty young woman who was struggling with that same addiction.
I was already aware this problem existed among the gentler sex. I was awakened to that fact while listening to a Christian radio program on the subject many years ago and was amazed that half the callers were female teens. I’ll always remember the young girl who called crying because she felt powerless to resist the lure. A Christian girl, attending her Youth Group, the kids at school started passing around a website address. Desiring to fit in, she logged on. She was hooked. Not only was she hooked but she tearfully admitted she was confused about her sexuality, having found herself aroused by lesbian photos as well as the straight stuff.
My heart ached for her. Still does.
We are sexual beings. Just look at yourself nude in a mirror. Everything about our anatomy screams reproduction. Without the God-given urges we feel, there’s no other way would have ever procreated the species. Sex was God’s idea (and a great one at that). Leave it to Satan to pervert those desires and turn something beautiful into something so vile and harmful.
I found some 2003 statistics on pornography and its impact on society. I’m sure they’re worse now, 5 years later. Brace yourself:
Of the adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction: 10%; 28% of those are women (internet-filter-review.com).
This one impacts women more than we can imagine: More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).
Our young men, even the Christian guys, are being fed a steady diet of nudity and sexually-related lies. In real life, women don’t look or act like that.
But perception is reality.
Our girls simply cannot compete.
I was doing premarital counseling with a couple when, on our last night before the wedding, I gave them the opportunity to talk about anything they wanted to get out in the open. Sure enough, the young lady bashfully admitted her fear of disappointing her husband when he saw her body in comparison to all the others he’d been exposed to all his life, if only just at store check-out counters and magazine racks.
Girls, don’t be deceived. There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing. Outwardly, they may show all the signs of being “good.” Inwardly, well…they’re a mess. You have every right to get to know his internet viewing habits and see the magazines he subscribes to. Don’t be so quick to give your heart away and invite problems later. As a former Singles Pastor, my word of advice was always, “Become what you want to marry.” It’s the reaping and sowing factor.
Where porn’s impact on marriage is concerned, at a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces in the past year, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago.” (Divorcewizards.com)
STATISTICS ON WOMEN WITH PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION
28% those admitting to sexual addiction are women (internet-filter-review.com).
That was five years ago.
34% of female readers of Today’s Christian Woman’s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll and 1 out of every 6 women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003). There is much deliverance required and, sadly, too few who even know what that means to minister in that way.
The impact on families and marriages is devastating, affecting women in yet another negative way as their desire to e married and raise children in a healthy, happy home are dashed. 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003). Add that to drug and alcohol problems, teen rebellion, overeating, domestic violence, workaholism, and everything else that goes wrong behind closed doors.